Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Goodbye 2014 (Bitter, Sweet, Year)

I say this very often, but it is still so, so true. How time flies!
I can't believe it's been 2.5 months since my last post. Gosh...

And by tomorrow, it'll be bye bye 2014, and hello 2015!

2014 has been undoubtedly a difficult year for me. Losing my hubby, best friend, and partner in crime, after spending close to 6 years, and almost 24/7 round the clock hours for the last year and a half of his life, is definitely tough.

It does leave a slight bitterness to the experience of life, which before the illness was rather easy-peasy, young, idealistic, happy-fairy and rah rah. Ok, haha... that is super exaggerating, but in comparison to the aftermaths, life before did feel... lighter.

But don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean life is now black, doom & gloom, heavy and overcast. It is just now a bit harder and sturdier. I also feel more pliable, more bendable, but still relatively light. Hmmm.... I think 'bamboo' would be a good analogy for my current situation. I feel more 'bamboo-ey' now. If there is such a word.

So what are the sweet parts? I have to consciously remind myself daily that life is still sweet with much to look forward to.

Lil MJ will be officially starting kindy next week. I've been prepping her by reminding her she will be going to big girl's school soon. As compared to play school for small girls. I asked her which bag she wants to bring to school. Rabbit bag or Hello Kitty bag. Both pink of course. She chose the rabbit bag. Prayerfully she'll enjoy herself on the first day!

It also looks like we'll be moving again. A potential move in date by September 2015? Not sure yet, will keep you all posted!

On the work end, since August I have been actively involved as a Life Planner & Mortgage Consultant in AIA. This role was something I had shared and talked to Min Ser about even before the relapse, and was able to be contracted with his full blessing. Though I never had the time and opportunity to truly pursue this role due to the relapse.

After Min Ser's passing. I gave myself until the end of July to finalise most matters, and by the first week of August, I wanted to hit the ground running, and I have. Thankfully, by God's grace, closing 2014 with much better results than I expected.

Why Insurance? Well Min Ser gave me a fresh perspective. Experiencing months to a year plus in hospitals, the pain of cancer, and lastly death first hand was tough. But it would have been even tougher if I had to suffer financially carrying the full burden of losing our family's breadwinner.

This relief was only possible through:-
1. The favour of God (to be treated well and almost fully subsidised in a government hospital)
2. The kindness of Min Ser's employer who kept him in employment all the way to the end
3. The power combination of Personal Medical + Critical Illness + Life Insurance

The Personal Medical card provided us options. For one of many examples, a simple CT scan. The waiting list in Ampang Hospital was 10 days! Of course 'tak boleh lah'. We had to know what was happening inside his body ASAP. CT Scan in SJMC could be scheduled the next day. Critical Illness coverage was used to lower our housing loan amount while he was still alive. And lastly Life Insurance to help a young widow with a young daughter move on with one less worry.

For many, with insurance, truly it's a love, hate relationship. You don't want it until you need it. And when you do, you wish you had more. Well I am just thankful for some of it. Enough to get by, to move forward, enough to give me time to rebuild a new career of my own. Min Ser has always been good to me, and through his thoughtfulness, I am doing ok. All I can say is I am thankful.

So, moving on to 2015. Hoping for better things ahead. In no particular order, focusing on Family, God, Ministry, and Work. Here's to hope for tomorrow!

P/S: On the topic of bitter sweet. I have received A Lot Of Chocolate for Christmas this year. Choc cake, hot choc mix, choc biscuits, chocolate chocolate. Rationed sensibly, I would say I have 3 months stash of chocolate. Yay! Maybe it's due to my last post? If so, thank you all you kind souls who reads my blog and take notes. Hahaha... : )


  1. Hi.. Do u mind to share with me.. Why the cancer cell is back after u under recovery?

    1. Hi there, the person effected by cancer was my late husband.

      Relapse (cancer coming back) does happen among cancer survivors. It normally occurs when the type of cancer is an aggressive one.

    2. Hi have read thuf ur story abt ur husband.... Very touching... MeAning like have a unknown timing boom even done all chemo. Too sad then