First August Update

The days have just been flying by... meeting up with different people, going for meetings, trainings, just learning, absorbing. I've been busy learning more about housing loans and insurance, really so much to learn and it has been interesting thus far!

I've also been working on and updating my website and my property listings. Marketing the units I have on hand via property sites, and Facebook. Time really really flies, my last blog post for my website was in April, gosh! But then again, it was late April when Min Ser started being unwell again...

I've been slightly procrastinating on the packing. Arghh... really not looking forward to it. We only moved to our Puchong place Dec 2012, and already accumulated so much stuff. How, how does two adults accumulate so much 'barang' in less than 2 years. But I will will myself to pack up the necessaries and close eyes and donate whatever I have not used in ages. Hopefully by my next post I can say I have successfully started or almost finish packing! Yes, I will!

Jo and I were on a really nice holiday with a friend and her daughter, Singapore, 27-30 July. Tickets sponsored by said friend. Thank you! We stayed with friends, a lovely couple (thank you too!) who opened their beautiful sea view apartment to us mums and daughters.

We took the girls to the aquarium on Monday, and The Zoo the next day. The aquarium was super crowded as Monday was a public holiday (though we managed to find space with nice views of the sea creatures). The trip to the zoo was really nice and the weather was lovely. Cool and cloudy, and it rained just (literally) after we got into the car. We also enjoyed the pool, delicious meals, and time spent talking. Lil MJ was ok as she slept both ways throughout the flight (this is only her second time on a plane) and she seemed to enjoy herself, although she was a little homesick at night.

So yes, I've been keeping myself busy. And I think it's a good thing. I've read a book on grief by Kindah Greening, and I also downloaded this ebook, and am in the midst of reading it "From One Widow to another: Conversations on the new You" by Miriam Neff. Reading a book with the title widow feels strange, the very word feels so strange and foreign. I'm a widow? Huh?

When I last filled in a form under marital status, automatically I was going to tick 'Married' then I realised I had to choose between 'Widowed/divorced/separated' or 'Single'. Really not used to it yet. Who knows if I'll ever change my Facebook status. Oh well, a topic for another day.

That being said, I did send our wedding rings for replating. I felt the rings should be kept together but I want it to look all nice and new before safekeeping them. So yes, it felt really strange as well being 'ringless' but I'm getting used to it.

Basically, everyone handles grief differently. And it is not abnormal to feel 'bad' not feeling sad. I know I don't feel wrong laughing or being happy, because I do want to be happy. But I do realise I am much more contemplative when I am alone, and I do still miss Min Ser very much. So... in a nutshell. On any given day, I feel happy and excited and also nostalgic and sad, though the emotions do not sway too far from each other, and they are not too extreme.

Finally, I'm really touched by different ones who have been offering their hand of friendship and service. Praying for, and looking out for us. I really appreciate everyone of you. It really does help and I really do treasure the time spent with each one of you.

Lil MJ and friend in Singapore S.E.A Aquarium